Love itself is just as innocent as roses in May

latley i've been feeling empty, and sad, and sometimes depressed. i dunno why. and thats killing me. because i dunno whats the thing that makes me feel sad and so sick of life and everything. i feel like i wanna try something else, something fun to keep my mind off these stuff. about the problems i have in my life.......

has anyone ever felt this way?

 

And It's Killing Me.

It's Devouring Every Piece Of Me.

 I Lie there Listening To My Own Voice Screaming ''I'm Nothing!".

 Lonliness Lies There Next To Me Made Me See Everything.

 And If I Crawled Back To the Memories, I Would Have Been Sucked In There.

 Without Light, Without Air.

 I Feel So lonely And Confused.

 For The First Time I'm Not Crying, And I've Got Nothing To Lose.

 Being Part Of What's Outside Is Harder Than I Thought It Would Be.

Cuz I'm Already Standing Outside In The Rain, And Noboday Saw Me.

And That's How I Faded Slowly...

an amazing/sad lyrics of Meg&Dia

She was just five years old.
A slightly moody day.
She couldn't stay away, from that rivers edge and I.
I turn my back to count.
All the daffodil seas that surrounded.
I close my eyes, and then heard the water wake up.

And I, I can still hear that scream, It's still lingering, in the air, everywhere.
"Mother, please save me, grab my hand" (I can't I can't)
I can still see that face, sink beneath the waves. Baby please, breath for me, give me time I am here.

Where did you go?
Where'd you go?
Where'd you go?
Hey, where'd you go?

Were the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?
Can't everybody just lie to me.
She's home, she's home. Crying for me now.
Every night on a Monday, I will visit the same spot that I hate.
Yes the place that baby loved, and now she can taste it, oh it took her away.

It's been five years since then.
And when it hits September..
I'll feel like I'm dying again.
Ian still won't even talk to me, talk to me!
Isn't this pain, guilt enough?


I can't even look out the window, without seeing reflections distorted in the sun.

(Repeat: And I can still hear that scream...)

And the pain hits me like gunshot.
And I'm heading on the way to the floor, I hear her name and it kills me.
Oh, Bottles up, Bottles up, Bottles up.

And I'm trying my best to hurt me.
Ian says it's never enough.
A razor to the wrist for each unshed tear, cough it up, drink it up, drink it up.


So I had a coma, when I crashed my car in the lake.
I saw your face down there I knew, it was not a mistake.
So I went to the doctor. I told him, oh my heart will break, If I couldn't see you. He just, gave me more pills.

But, I saw you up there.
Still floating by the river.
God, you always loved that river.
I bet your heaven looks just like it.

Then I'll like it too, even though it scares me now.
But when I'm with you.
I'll be just fine, I'll be just fine.

We can sit, we can talk about, talk about...Butterflies. Butterflies. Butterflies.

hi. i know we probably dont talk that much, but i would really really really really appreciated if u would watch my soon-going-to-be-first video. i havent upload it yet, im still working on it.
its an anime slidshows, i know u might wont like it, but i want YOUR opinion&comments on it. will i count on u??

Thanx! :)
xoxoxox, Dana.

here's my best female i have known. and who i wanted to be. or liked. :)

My top 5 (cuz i thought 10 is too much).

 

5. Sarah Michelle Gellar.

she kicks ass in all horror movies =D and she is a great actress.

4. Kelly Clarkson.

she has a beautiful voice and i always drown in her music. and she's funny! and lovely! =D.

3. Avril Lavigne.

that girl knows her business! she has an amazing sence of style, and her CDs are unbelievebly awsome. she's funny, and she rocks!

2. Heather Maison.

hahahahahaha! you probably didnt expect that, i no! =D but that girl, im serious, knows how to take care of herself even if she was in hell! she's a character from video game, but i love her strong personality, and her goal in the game.

1. Hayley Williams.

SHE ROCKS THAN ANY FEMALE I EVER KNOWN!!!

ok, maybe that was too much.
but i like her strong, amazing, unique voice. their(paramore) music is awsome! she writes good stuff. and she's funny, and sweet. she has a wonderful sence of style. She's freakin awsome. =D

i'll post male idols (shakoo? lol) later. i have to think of some.

and try to do My Idols list too. if u like. =)

xoxo

-Dana. 

im so sick of buzznet i actullay thought of leaving =/

 

1. He's an ass, he always wanted to know where are we going and when are we coming, and he's a conrol FREAK.

2.  he used to beat up my mother, and i was so frozen A.K.A CHICKEN to even stop him.

3. he have always been jealous that my mom loves us more than him. duh! we're her kids!

4.  he NEVER treats his kids the way my dad treats them.

5. he's a faluir as a father and as a husband.

6. i never felt comfortable around him.

7. he is sick, he married 7 times!

 

 

 

 

if he died he would be doing a world a favour. ok, thats a bit mean, but I HATE HIM! AND I HATE HIS GUTS!

Do i seek for pain when im already crushed?
just like automn leaves we're hard to crush.
and when i cry your name will you be there for me?
will you take this heart and warm it for me?
kiss my hand and leave me to be.

Before me white roses opened it slef, bled red tears and sank down and hugged the roots.
thats when my darkside started to grew.

its so cold will you share your secrets with me?
they might hurt me, they might kill me, but they're for sure see's me.

oh, it was a mistake. and oh will you make another one?

as you can see, im dying inside and out.
i will leave you this burned letter and a small beautiful butterfly.
it seems to me immortality isn't part of me, so why?

my lips are as numb as my heart.
but i crawled with an arrow stuck inside my heart.
oh, im falling apart.

Will you watch me as i sing my soul out?
will you're love save me before i disappear from this place?
darling, this place wont exist when it cant see my face.

It's so cold will you share your secrets with me?
they might hurt me, they might kill me, but they're for sure understand me.

Now i will go into deep sleep.
will you promice you wont wake me up?
i will still love you
i will still kiss you
but from far away

do i seek for pain when im already crushed?
just kiss my hand and leave me to be.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

hope u all have the best year eva!!

2mrrow is history, 2008 is a mystery. ^^

oh and tell me how u spent yours, cuz i didnt. lol. pathetic, i no.

 

i admit im terrified to drown inside.

 without a rescue, i would wrap myself tight.

closing my eyes and pray for my last breath would be as real as it suppose to be.

but at the same time i want it to be perfect, i wanted to give me immortality.

such a strong word and a mysterious one.

if only i would lie in the dark smiling knowing I've got one.

Not afraid to hide it, but too scarred for the enviness.

my life dont mean a thing to happiness.

cuz they never have knocked the doors with a loving smile.

even if i walked these endless miles.

But thats okay, cuz not everybody have their own fairy tale. :)

 

 

is it too much im-thinking-of-slitting-my-wrists??? tell me what u think about this poem!

ps, if it sux say so, i wont bite =D

*Sneeze, sneeze* its a no big deal, my mom tried to prevent me from going to the ice skating (where we always go to on weekends) but i said that im in my best shape (and i promiced her to wear heavy clothes, although its kinda still summer).

They threw snow ball on my butt, and it hurts! XD lol!

while i was changing chanels i set on Pete Wentz Cribs. ha! lol. =D its the first time i see it.

at least that made my day.

oh! and i bought FALL OUT BOY T-SHIRT!!! (another one). i've got two now! wooooohoooo! it was the last one, my cousin bought The Killers T-shirt. =D

umm..... what else?

we've got tests for 2 weeks! AHHHHHHHHHHH! *crys*  =D

 

 

BLAH BLAH BLAH! you know the sam eold rules =D

i just wanna say that these bands have been one of the reasons that changed my point of view of the world. and if u have a tiny free minute give them a listen, and your eardrums will respond to them. trust me, you'll never regrett ;)

10) The Hush Sound

They've got good songs and i was amused when i heard wine red and dont wake me up. good band! =]

9) Maroon 5

i was sooo into them when i heard Songs About Jane cd. i love This Love!!!

8) 30 Seconds To Mars.

wow. jared can sing his guts out but he brings the point. i love the meaning of the song The Kill. He's awsome and so is his band!

7) The Academy Is...

man, and i thought (when i saw the phrase that pays video) that there songs are not good. but i DEFINTLY change my mind. they've got sence of humor, and there songs are amazing!

6) Aly&A.J

i know this probably no a band, but they are THE BEST SISTERS. they are sooooo good with acting and singing i love them, (in a good way). No One song got a meaning.

5) Billy Talent.

They rock! they scream their soul out of them, and they write awsome lyrics!

4) My Chemical Romance.

they scream the shit out of me! (sorry 4 my language) they are the best emo band i can think of. the lyrics are genuis. love ya!

3) Paramore.

where do i begin? i was stunned at Misery Business and the rest of other songs. Your bring the dead back their souls with hayley's voice. they are sooooooo dear to me. they rocks my socks!

2) Panic! At The Disco.

the circus, the stage, the music, and lets not foget the LYRICS drowned me into a world i will never forget! ryan writes the best lyrics that i cant think fo someone who can write them better. brendon got the ultimit voice. cant wait for the new cd!!!!!!

1) Fall Out Boy.

Last...... *gasps for air*
oh man, oh shit, oh CRAP! THEY         ARE           THE       BEST        BAND       EVER!!!!!!!!!
i fell in love blindly with their songs! they bring out the best of them. they are wanted 4 life. wow. the music, the band, the lyrics lets not foget that the band have a billion words in their hearts. i love them! i love them! and i want to go to their concert JUST ONCE.

And Thats the end of my lame list =P

Paramore in prog rock shock?

Nick Thompson
5/ 9/2007

MY interview with Zac Ferro and Hayley Williams of rising Tennessee emo stars Paramore begins unconventionally in that they start asking me questions before I have a chance to even sit down.
 
Prompted by my Jimmy Eat World tour T-shirt (a shrewd, perhaps slightly toadying choice of attire on my part) as I walk into their dressing room a couple of hours before their Academy 2 show, both immediately declare their love for that band, before taking it in turns to fire questions; “Which tour did you see them on? Did they play much off the Clarity record? Was it like the best show you’ve ever seen? They’re the reason we started this band, them and Sunny Day Real Estate.” 
 
This enthusiasm possibly has something to do with them still being on a high from the in-store acoustic performance they have just returned from at HMV on Market Street to promote second album Riot! and current single Hallelujah.

“The crowd was ridiculous,” says Hayley. “It felt insane.”

“These girls were running after the car,” Zac recalls, with an air of someone who is still getting used to the perils of teen-idoldom. “I was like, what are you gonna do? We’re going 30 miles an hour.”
 
“It’s weird,” says Williams. “We were walking from the van to the door and these kids saw us and started screaming, and we’ve had that the last couple of times we’ve been here but it’s never been to that extent. We’re still kinda new to it, and I’m not sure what’ll happen tonight at the show but I expect the crowd will be pretty loud. That’s always more fun, to interact with the crowd...”
 
There’s also an air of regret that their elevated fame means it’s harder to connect with their fans. After all, the line outside is comprised mostly of excited teenagers, but Ferro and Williams are themselves callow youths – Hayley is 18 and Zac just 17 – just ones who happen to be in a rock band touring the world and on the brink of making it into the big leagues.
 
When I tell them that I think Riot! achieves a ‘pop’ sound without having too many of its edges polished off, they thankfully take it as the compliment it is intended as.

“It’s kind of natural, but we’re pop after we’re rock!” says Hayley, making the devil horn gesture with her fingers to illustrate the point. “We’d be considered a pop band, but we’re influenced by a lot of rock bands and it just blends really well.”
 
And you managed to carry off playing Download without being bottled too...
 
Hayley smiles. “Yeah, it’s weird how many kids come up to us with freakin’ Slayer T-shirts, you know. That to me is really flattering that people who like bands that are that technical and skilled - they can also get down to Paramore.”

Download
 
To look at her, you would fear for Williams somewhere like Download. In person she is tiny, and so slight you would swear a strong breeze could have her over, though her energy on stage later in the evening will dispel any such impression. She is also friendly and courteous, with a disarming laugh and a way of holding your gaze when she speaks to you.
 
Woolly-hatted drummer Zac is softly spoken and laid back to the point of falling over, exuding a kind of 'young John Cusack' likeability. He says he’s “been not really talking all day,” so seems eager to chat now, especially about music.
 
 “I have a question,” he says, leaning forward. “Do you think the Beastie Boys paved the way for all new hip-hop? We had this big discussion with New Found Glory (fellow pop punkers on the recent Warped Tour in the States) and they were like, ‘Dude, they paved the way,’ but I don’t know.” Though I am unable to bring much new to the topic, he seems satisfied with my hastily blagged answer.
 
“Zac’s gonna be the interviewer from now on,” Hayley giggles. ”This is an eight-page piece, right? Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry we’re talking so much!”
 
“Hayley doesn’t like it when I talk,” deadpans Zac.
 
“I love when you talk,” she insists, before going on to talk about other bands. “I think there’s three bands that are really great, all different, with career paths we’d like to follow. A band like U2, who are massive, and do whatever they want, write whatever they want and they stand for something – that means a lot.

"Obviously Jimmy Eat World, who I don’t think ever disappoint their fans – that’s really important – and then also I think No Doubt have done amazing things...”
 
“But we’re not gonna break up,” chimes in Zac.
 
“No, not so much the solo artist thing – I’m not a big fan of that.”

Phil Collins
 
“Maybe I could go solo!” says Zac. “Like the Phil Collins thing but without the singing... Whoa, I just thought of that – I’m probably going to get that together right now.”
 
Then the conversation turns to doing a Flaming Lips and recording an album that needs to be played on four stereos simultaneously. Are Paramore turning experimental before my eyes?
 
“Well, we’ve always cited Rush as one of our main influences,” laughs Hayley. And it turns out she’s not entirely joking as she begins to talk about Snakes and Arrows, the latest album by the Canadian proggers who formed 20 years before she was born.
 
“Chicago and Rush,” agrees Zac. “That’s why we really started this band.”
 
Along with the rest of the band - Zac’s brother Josh and bassist Jeremy Davis – Hayley and Zac have been touring all year. So are they living the full-on Mötley Crüe tour lifestyle?
 
“We don’t really party, we’re not those kind of people. I mean, see all those beers back there?” Hayley asks, pointing to the pallet of bottled water that seems to be the extent of their rider. “It’s even not so much that we’re not a party band, it’s just that as people we just have fun hanging out together. We live a fun, musical life. And it’s awesome!”
 
So what would they do if they weren’t in Paramore? The question seems to strike a small pang of fear into Zac – “Oh man,” he says with a shake of his head. He would be at Franklin High School, “and still trying to play in another band, probably. If that didn’t work I’ve probably end up in a grocery store. I’d be like, hey, can I put that ice cream in the bag for you?”
 
Hayley similarly seems to be at a loss to contemplate a life without the band. “I don’t know, I’d probably just be hanging out, trying to get my own place in Franklin. I like music, that’s what I like to do.”
 
Zac agrees – “If I didn’t play music I’d want to be a manager or working for a label or something else in music. That’s like the only thing I’m slightly good at – so hopefully the music won’t go downhill for us…” 
 
He needn’t worry - there’s little chance of that happening to Paramore any time soon.

 

Dont judge by the title that im running away, cuz im not (i wish) but im not!

the school will start next week, and to me that sux. cuz i hate evrything about it; students, teachers, and of course our UNIFORMS.
i dunno why, but i feel like im trapped there everytime i go. ppl are like different aroud me. i wanna talk to ppl and i wanna ppl talk to me but they say ''i push them away'' and thats bullshit. yeah, i had friends before but i moved a lot, or the next year they dont talk to me cuz im not i the same class, so i have to make friends every year. and if they saw something not good about me they just go away, and i HATE this. there is different cliques but its like there is only 2 of them clique that asks 4 trouble, and the ones that always good and study (and boring). so there's not much of a choice.

oh and god i miss my dad (i cant believe i said it out loud). i miss him more then anything, i havent seen him about a year and a half. he's travelling (well thats a temprary excuse). my parents are divorced before i was even born, and i havent been around him latly ( these past 3 or 4 years). he's not always around when i need him, but he tries. but u cant say that u cant blame him. yeah, there is some parts in our life he takes the blame.

ahhh....... what else? (i've been hear for an hour ago and im bored so let me get out as much as i can) =].  

oh! and there is part of me that i hate most about, and i want to find an answer to it. cz the most stupidest, hateful question i despise is; what u wanna be when u grow up?
im already GROWN UP I GOT 2 YEARS 2 GRADUATE!
and they go like; okay, what collage are u going to?

and frankly, i dunno and i dont ive  adamn. cuz i have no skills, no TALENT.  and if i do, they're not enough they're never are. GOSH, i wish i was super smart, or maybe even smart, or good defender then maybe i could be  a lawyer, or good at chimstry and physics, or maybe understand everybody's feelings or maybe even help ppl. for example; i love writing, but i dunno if im good at that.  and maybe i will never know in my life. but what does that do any good for me? and i wanna learn about music as much as anyone can, (yeah thats weird). and i wanna learn to play equipments (i no 2 but im no good). so where the hell does that get me??

sorry im just so pissed off. u dont have to read teh rest :)

and.................................................................... what else? i guess nothing.

its really not that much to say, but im grateful for some things. so yea, i guess when u come to think of it there is sometimes a place in ur heart u dont know who u are anymore. u feel like u have 2 different person insides u and u dont know which side u should show the others. which side it scares them, and which one it doesnt.

i hpe im showing the good side now. =]

 

I've Been Tagged By Beautifulfreak and Gizemm

 

fact 1: im not a good liar. :D

fact2: i have a crush on someone, who saw me , but never bothered to do or say anything. =]

fact3: since i know doctor/lawyer is not for me, i wanted to work in the music business. (in my dreams!)

fact4: i love writing songs, its expresses how i feel and how i've been through. :)

fact5: i love watching scary movies, but the then when i head to bed i freak out if i closed my eyes............ well some of the movies.

fact6: im deathly scared of the ocean, but i took diving lessons. evantullay. =]

fact7: lool, my first famouse obsession was Eminem. DONT LAUGH! =] (that goes to 14ryryisbabe).

fact8: i once touched cat's shit when i thought it was choclate on the floor.... =D

 

umm..... i tagged. c4, xtakemylifex, peteluv4eva, stephfob, xqueenxofxchaos, kat92, brendonurie69, ryanaddict

u know the ld saying ''Becareful what u wish for''?
well, we wished 4 something really great 2 happen but it DIDNT!

there was this concert in Dunde, T in the park, My Chemical Romance. we begged our mothers to get us into that concert, they finally agreed, but they saw that its goanna be crowded!

better luck next time, i guess! :P

we headed to Edinburgh and the first day we had a big pillow fight, then everybody end up falling tierd on the bed. we have been to the Edinburgh Dungeon, its been so much fun! it wasnt as scary as it looks like.

the other day we get back, my little brother broke his hand, (ouch) and they said they had to do him a surgery. his hand was broken, but he is feeling alright now.

oh, and i cried and i got punished when mom and dad found out im pregnant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO, IM JOKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

hey wazz up. um, there is not much 2 tell u but i just wanted all to let u know that i might wont be here 4 a while, on Monday im goin to 5 or 6 hours to Amsterdam, and then maybe 2 hours to abrdeen.

and u know whats frustrating is that i've never been to fob's concert and they are coming to Edinburgh, so i can go and see them, but too bad cuz its ON THE SAME DAY WE ARE TRAVELLING!!!!!

last week we went to like a beach house (i dunno how 2 say it) we spent 5 days there and it was fun!!! we had fun in the pool, in the beach (my friends buried me under the sand! :) ) , and we were racing in jet-skee it was fun! but then there was this guy that was hiting on my friend and we got pissed off. so we told my mom and she came to the pool and told him to back off and stop bothering us (it was kinda like yellin but there wasnt really fighting). =]
oh and i know this might sound childish and stupid but i got to learn how to ride a bike on two weels! XD i know its silly, but seriously i've never tried it before an dmy friends were laughing cuz i didnt know how to ride a bike. but i learned eventullay.

 

:D ok so this happened a while ago, but i wanted to say it though!

first, i took a shower, and got dressed and everything. then my brother comes to my room and looked at my table-dresser and kept asking ''what is this?" i told him its a mouse for the hair, then he sprayed it on me. i wnet ''HEY!!!!" the next thing you know we started a war, i was holding a hairpsray and he was holding the mouse (foam). and we kept on spitting on each other.

"oh shit!" he says when it finished. "HAHAHAHA!!"

he took the bottle full of water and started washing me. i ran through the house (since my mom wasnt here). and screamed! i took the bottle from him and washed him too. (haha ! noboday messes with me and get away with it :D )

the next thing u know the house was full of water, mouse, gel, and hairpsray smell. we quickly wiped everything, leaving no clues.

then i had to take a shower AGAIN!!

but hell it was worth it! :P

LMAO! of many things happened the last 2 months and i havent mentioned it here. so here we go..........

Last Month........

Good Things!

1. We celebrated mom's birthday, by buying a big happy b-day card and we told our whole family to sign in it. She loved it. she's said it was the best gift.

2. my tests results were good, except for geolgy and some other one. but hey! at least i got 45 out of chemistry. (i still show off with that mark lol :)

3. we are SOOO travelling this summer!! wooohoo!!!

 

Embarresed Things =P

1. i ACCIDENTLY hit one of the girls in my classmate, her boobs, and then she said "OUCH!" i say sorry! then she goes tell her friends that SHEs the one who felt embbaresed. LMAO!!! I COULDNT STAND THIS , AND I WAS LAUGHIN!!!

2. how would u feel, when of ur artists shows up on TV, and u ACCIDENTLY make a small shriek, then u realize ur mom is here starin and goes"who is THAT???? and why the hell are u shrieking?"

Bad Things :(

1. i wont be takin guitar lessons till agust. :(

2. its hard 2 say it.............. oh, shit!!! im pregnant, again. :'(

 

 

 

 

JOKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

adioas, my hoes!!! XD icluding all of u who's reading this =P

add some tags if u like ;)

soo, me and my friends went to the beach (well, there not exactley in the shore) and we decided that we should do byciling, we are four so the two of them were together, and me and my other one took one. And we were like racing, a little competiton, my friend was like ''come on! cant u do it faster?" and i said ''i AM doing it faster, u're the one who is not.''  and we were a head of them!

so, then we decided to stop and take a rest, we drank some water, then she says. ''can u do bycling urself?" and i said. "i dunno''. She says, "come on! lets say."

of course, at that time i was wearing high heels (and trust me, NOT good ones) so then i pressed har, and my heels broke! and she was like, ''OPS!"   i looked at her, and she was holding her laugh.

"Look what u have done!" i giggled, well i never really liked those heels. she starts to laugh.

at the end, i ha dto walk back to the car, barefoot. =]