has anyone ever felt this way?

It's Devouring Every Piece Of Me.

 I Lie there Listening To My Own Voice Screaming ''I'm Nothing!".

 Lonliness Lies There Next To Me Made Me See Everything.

 And If I Crawled Back To the Memories, I Would Have Been Sucked In There.

 Without Light, Without Air.

 I Feel So lonely And Confused.

 For The First Time I'm Not Crying, And I've Got Nothing To Lose.

 Being Part Of What's Outside Is Harder Than I Thought It Would Be.

Cuz I'm Already Standing Outside In The Rain, And Noboday Saw Me.

And That's How I Faded Slowly...

She was just five years old.
A slightly moody day.
She couldn't stay away, from that rivers edge and I.
I turn my back to count.
All the daffodil seas that surrounded.
I close my eyes, and then heard the water wake up.

And I, I can still hear that scream, It's still lingering, in the air, everywhere.
"Mother, please save me, grab my hand" (I can't I can't)
I can still see that face, sink beneath the waves. Baby please, breath for me, give me time I am here.

Where did you go?
Where'd you go?
Where'd you go?
Hey, where'd you go?

Were the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?
Can't everybody just lie to me.
She's home, she's home. Crying for me now.
Every night on a Monday, I will visit the same spot that I hate.
Yes the place that baby loved, and now she can taste it, oh it took her away.

It's been five years since then.
And when it hits September..
I'll feel like I'm dying again.
Ian still won't even talk to me, talk to me!
Isn't this pain, guilt enough?


I can't even look out the window, without seeing reflections distorted in the sun.

(Repeat: And I can still hear that scream...)

And the pain hits me like gunshot.
And I'm heading on the way to the floor, I hear her name and it kills me.
Oh, Bottles up, Bottles up, Bottles up.

And I'm trying my best to hurt me.
Ian says it's never enough.
A razor to the wrist for each unshed tear, cough it up, drink it up, drink it up.


So I had a coma, when I crashed my car in the lake.
I saw your face down there I knew, it was not a mistake.
So I went to the doctor. I told him, oh my heart will break, If I couldn't see you. He just, gave me more pills.

But, I saw you up there.
Still floating by the river.
God, you always loved that river.
I bet your heaven looks just like it.

Then I'll like it too, even though it scares me now.
But when I'm with you.
I'll be just fine, I'll be just fine.

We can sit, we can talk about, talk about...Butterflies. Butterflies. Butterflies.

My top 5 (cuz i thought 10 is too much).

5. Sarah Michelle Gellar.

she kicks ass in all horror movies =D and she is a great actress.

4. Kelly Clarkson.

she has a beautiful voice and i always drown in her music. and she's funny! and lovely! =D.

3. Avril Lavigne.

that girl knows her business! she has an amazing sence of style, and her CDs are unbelievebly awsome. she's funny, and she rocks!

2. Heather Maison.

hahahahahaha! you probably didnt expect that, i no! =D but that girl, im serious, knows how to take care of herself even if she was in hell! she's a character from video game, but i love her strong personality, and her goal in the game.

1. Hayley Williams.

SHE ROCKS THAN ANY FEMALE I EVER KNOWN!!!

ok, maybe that was too much.
but i like her strong, amazing, unique voice. their(paramore) music is awsome! she writes good stuff. and she's funny, and sweet. she has a wonderful sence of style. She's freakin awsome. =D

i'll post male idols (shakoo? lol) later. i have to think of some.

and try to do My Idols list too. if u like. =)

xoxo

-Dana. 

2.  he used to beat up my mother, and i was so frozen A.K.A CHICKEN to even stop him.

3. he have always been jealous that my mom loves us more than him. duh! we're her kids!

4.  he NEVER treats his kids the way my dad treats them.

5. he's a faluir as a father and as a husband.

6. i never felt comfortable around him.

7. he is sick, he married 7 times!

if he died he would be doing a world a favour. ok, thats a bit mean, but I HATE HIM! AND I HATE HIS GUTS!

Before me white roses opened it slef, bled red tears and sank down and hugged the roots.
thats when my darkside started to grew.

its so cold will you share your secrets with me?
they might hurt me, they might kill me, but they're for sure see's me.

oh, it was a mistake. and oh will you make another one?

as you can see, im dying inside and out.
i will leave you this burned letter and a small beautiful butterfly.
it seems to me immortality isn't part of me, so why?

my lips are as numb as my heart.
but i crawled with an arrow stuck inside my heart.
oh, im falling apart.

Will you watch me as i sing my soul out?
will you're love save me before i disappear from this place?
darling, this place wont exist when it cant see my face.

It's so cold will you share your secrets with me?
they might hurt me, they might kill me, but they're for sure understand me.

Now i will go into deep sleep.
will you promice you wont wake me up?
i will still love you
i will still kiss you
but from far away

do i seek for pain when im already crushed?
just kiss my hand and leave me to be.

hope u all have the best year eva!!

2mrrow is history, 2008 is a mystery. ^^

oh and tell me how u spent yours, cuz i didnt. lol. pathetic, i no.

 without a rescue, i would wrap myself tight.

closing my eyes and pray for my last breath would be as real as it suppose to be.

but at the same time i want it to be perfect, i wanted to give me immortality.

such a strong word and a mysterious one.

if only i would lie in the dark smiling knowing I've got one.

Not afraid to hide it, but too scarred for the enviness.

my life dont mean a thing to happiness.

cuz they never have knocked the doors with a loving smile.

even if i walked these endless miles.

But thats okay, cuz not everybody have their own fairy tale. :)

is it too much im-thinking-of-slitting-my-wrists??? tell me what u think about this poem!

ps, if it sux say so, i wont bite =D